Are You Fluent in Democrat?

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This is a primer, not a comprehensive compendium of Democrat-to-Conservative translations. Pass it along and add in your own!



When a Democrat says..

COLLEGE EDUCATED = "I am smarter, more enlightened, empathetic, worldly, classy, and, let's face it, so much the better human being than you stupid, mouth-breathing, feckless rabble." Most often heard during political discourse on left-wing media outlets discussing polling of likely voters.


NON-COLLEGE EDUCATED = incredibly stupid, clueless, church going, hulking, blue collar, trailer trash living, Walmart shopping, mullet haired, unshaven, cigarette smoking, blue eyeshadow wearing, beer swilling, cheap tramping, MAGA hat wearing gun owners - always accompanied with loud, clanking eye-rolling and a soft "tsk tsk tsk," and a pat on your head. Basically, to the left, you are a pet turtle.


NET NEUTRALITY = Total and complete fascist government control of the internet - in effect - censorship, indoctrination, oppression, and the end of free exchange of ideas and knowledge as we know it.  The Left believes that, as free Americans, we must be retrained. We must speak the language of the left. The first words you will learn are - "Baaa... Baaa!"


GUN SAFETY = Gun control and confiscation. The only way to control the populace, oops, I mean, keep government safe, ugh... wait, sorry, to keep the people safe, is to take away their ability to contest a tyrannical government.  


FOLLOW THE SCIENCE = You must believe the government-supplied lies without dispute.  You must bow and scrape and pledge fealty to your government God. You must not do your own research (you are too "uneducated" to understand). You must not use common sense - even as healthy young people are dying all around you with "the jab" induced myocarditis. Being outside in the fresh air is bad, so shut up, stay in your darkened, closed-up home, wear your mask morning to night, sanitize your delivered food containers, and lose your job - your home, your life. Do it for the good of society. Resistance is futile. Repeat after us.. "Baaa, baaa, baaa!'


GLOBAL WARMING = Fear mongering based on absolutely worst case, highly suspect computer models that induce alarm and panic among the populace, allowing government to spend money and control the lives of its worshipping riffraff, all in the name of saving the global proletariat. 


CLIMATE CHANGE = What you rename Global Warming when your highly suspect, worst case, S.W.A.G. (Scientific, Wild, Ass, Guess) computer models fail miserably and you still want the money and control, but the world ain't warming.


RACIST = 1) White conservatives 2) Anyone to whom the Left is losing an argument. 3) Anyone the Left hates. 4) Anyone who votes for someone other than a Democrat. 5) Any person or group the left wants to cancel. 6) Math. 


DEMOCRACY = Tyranny disguised as Freedom through the oppression of majority rule, repeated over and over in hopes of becoming truth. Used in phrases such as, "Trump is an existential threat to our Democracy!" And "We hate your guts!  So, sit down, shut up, and do exactly as we tell you, you stupid meany heads!"


SOCIAL CONSTRUCT = A purely made-up emotional argument to combat data and facts with pure make-believe, feels, fairy dust, and deep-seated snowflakery. Most often spoken by college-educated, purple-haired, nose-ring-wearing, crazy lady glassed snowflakes who are "triggered" by "microaggressions" and "intersectionality" in all its forms. On a side note, these same people pay $100,000 for a college education, just to learn 50 cent words to sound as stupid and silly as Kamala Harris.


SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE = What Democrats, especially Democrat women, define as - A submissive, un-educated, house cleaning, baby making, barefoot in the kitchen, uninformed, clueless, less-than Neanderthal loving Stepford wife who passionately stands by her man, proudly puts family first, and will, like a mama bear, defend both come hell or high water.  I mean, Lefty women really, really hate that.


RED FLAG LAWS = Complete destruction of your civil rights under the guise of a utopian dream forcefully bereft of those citizens the Left deems a danger to their Arcadian dreams.  IE, those the left sees as beneath them. (See Non-College Educated above.)


EXTREMIST(ism) = According to Joe Biden, anyone who loves Trump. Also, those who believe in personal responsibility, freedom, the Constitution, individual rights, family, morals, ethics, capitalism, small government, fiscal responsibility, babies, two-parent homes, closed borders, and God.  Let's face it: this particular definition could be three pages long.


NATIONALISM = Fascism, Nazi-ism, America-loving, country-first, selfish, conceited, hateful, close-minded, self-involved, red-hat-wearing MAGA supporters. Oh! And let's not forget the people Biden said were the biggest threat to democracy... White supremacists! They are everywhere, I tell you, everywhere!  


HOMOPHOBIC = When you dislike someone who is an utter and complete asshole and waste of space but happens to be gay.


MISOGYNIST = When you take exception to an out of shape, 5 feet 5 in, female attempting (and woefully failing) to physically protect a 6 ft 4 in 240 lb. presidential candidate from an assassin's bullet.  


DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) = Didn't Earn It, or Division, Exclusion, and Indoctrination.  The idea is that hiring someone who is a member of a societal minority is far better than hiring the most qualified person for the job. This is how you end up with a 5'5 "woman physically defending a 6'4" 240-lb. presidential candidate from assassins.


ESG (Environmental, Social, Governance) refers to the practice of investment companies utilizing the power of their investors' money to compel companies into compliance with the investment company's long-term, socially conscious ideologies. These companies weaponize and risk their investors' money to blackball or blacklist companies who refuse to bend the knee - shirking their fiduciary responsibilities to their investors by using their investors proxy votes to vote against their investors own best interest.  Also known as college-educated individuals (see above translation), they are laying the groundwork for a class action lawsuit against themselves for breach of fiduciary responsibility.


In the end, let's try to be nice; after all, they do have Joe Biden and Kamala Harris to deal with.  And a failing economy.  And failed foreign policy.  And soul-crushing inflation.  And rising gas prices. And floundering income to inflation ratios. And open borders are swamping our country with illegals, many of whom are criminals and terrorists. And .. oh hell, why pile on. 





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